Finding happiness in today's world can look like walking a tightrope. Pursue one path just a bit too far, plunge into unhappiness. Find your way back to center, and before you know it you’ve overcorrected, and the misery monster chomps at you again. This week we are going to cover 3 areas that are hard to find balance in; control, emotional sharing, and cultural influence. To top it off we will cover some principles that can help restore balance.

Locus of control (LOC) is a psychological concept, (big word simple meaning) that delves into the beliefs people hold about the amount and origin of control in their lives. People with an internal locus of control tend to believe that their choices, efforts, and abilities largely shape their destiny. This fosters a sense of empowerment or (on the too much side of the tightrope) over-responsibility. In contrast, individuals with an external locus of control often attribute their circumstances to external forces, luck, or fate. This can lead to a feeling of peace and stillness or helplessness and dependency. In essence, choosing to believe that everything is happening regardless of you, equals external locus of control. Whereas believing that you are to blame for each and everything that happens equates to an internal locus of control. Neither of these equates to pure contentment. Of course, there is a spectrum and most of us find ourselves somewhere in the middlish zones. If we can ponder our natural leaning to one side or the other, we can cultivate strength, in the opposite direction, to balance our walk through seasons with more resilience and well-being. A working model of balance to guide you here might look like experiencing the benevolence of a higher power while still accepting your own free will.

Human relationships and the emotions behind them take a toll on us all. It is human to want to share our lives with those around us. Sometimes, the expectations we have about this can create more tension on our tightrope line though. On one hand, the desire for empathy and shared experiences builds deeper connections and emotional support. Having someone who understands your emotions can bring great comfort, whether you feel happy or sad. Unfortunately, we have all felt the pain of being misunderstood, uncelebrated, or dismissed in these relationships as well. It's essential to remember that each person's experiences, perspectives, and emotional landscapes are unique. Expecting others to fully grasp the intricacies of your pain or joy may lead to disappointment, as no one can truly step into your shoes and feel exactly as you do. Guiding balance here feels like enjoying many deep meaningful relationships where you feel understood in different ways, alongside a deeper relationship with something bigger and ultimately loving and accepting of you.

Attempting to manage the influence of the culture around you can also set one over the tipping point. Constantly comparing oneself to others or living solely by one's own expectations can each have consequences. Measuring ourselves against external benchmarks can breed discontent and anxiety, making it challenging to find genuine happiness. Alternatively, measuring our achievements, appearances, or success without considering how it affects those around us, risks damaging relationships and fostering a sense of self-centeredness. While setting one's standards and values is important for personal growth, it's equally vital to be mindful of how our choices and behaviors impact the people we interact with. Finding a set of higher truths or universal ethics can create a balance between self-determination and empathy, allowing for well-being.

The sway between control, sharing, and influence significantly affects our ability to enjoy life. Finding systems to be balancing poles through the journey is helpful. They enable us to pursue our goals and values while fostering meaningful connections with others. Ultimately, finding contentment in life rests in the delicate equilibrium between self-fulfillment and the influence on the world around us. You have made it this far in life, and there is no doubt you have found a few balancing poles of your own. Are they helping you to cultivate true and lasting contentment? Is it time to trade some out?